I subscribe to followups on posts that I have commented on…usually hoping to read more of your writing. I love your whitty banter and the way you write. I am afraid that it might be lost on some but just so you know, I “get you”

I know that this is off topic but I wanted to send New Year’s wishes to you before I forgot so…Happy New Year!

Your #1 Fan!

Cory

Your posting confused me since you start out being happy for me, and then later in it insult me.
Do you really think I have forced her to marry me and to be loving, kind and faithful for 15 years? You have a contradiction there, since you imply that a russian women will leave an older husband at the drop of a hat, so why hasn’t it happened to me, then, if I am abusing her? You may not be, but you sound exactly like the twisted western feminist type that I avoid like the plague. I am also loving, kind and faithful to her.

Russian women want love and respect, the same as women the world over do, and I have given her that, since I love her. If you think that they leave their own country just to get to the USA or some other rich contry to live it up, you really have no idea of their motivations or how the average russian women has to live and how she is treated by the average Russian man-now THAT is abuse!

However, as I said in my first posting, a gap of around 20 years or more is really too much and the guy who thinks it is not is dreaming, and is asking for trouble. Your ex also sounds like a fool to marry a women whose children he doesn’t even like; remember, kids also need love.

I am not sure what you mean by á designer bought possession’. Don’t you look for the qualities in a man that you want too when considering marriage? Do you mean I should settle for less than I want in a woman, and marry her simply because she is western? Actually I met my wife purely by chance, (I did not go to russia looking for a wife) but I am very glad that I did meet her.

Western women, its time for some honesty:

Given the sort of women who are available locally, the mystery to me is not why so many western men marry russian women, but why so few do. Lasyness, I suppose, and false economy; they just take whatever is around; they seem to want to learn the hard way. Anyone who has travelled knows that the most unattractive type of women are western; the British, American or Australian are number one in the ugly stakes worldwide; all other men feel sorry for us. They are not just pyhsically unattractive (which they cannot help I suppose) but their sloppy dress code, poor morals, obesity, loud-mouthed behaviour, and lack of respect for their husband. (Respect must be MUTUAL not just on the man’s side!) In short they are horrible. -Only the poor guy who has not travelled does not know it. And western women remain single in droves, and they wonder why they cannot find a good man!

I am sorry that your husband left you but glad that you have now found someone you are happy with now. I would never advocate for a man to leave his wife and children to marry a Russian women, I only was advocating this course of action for single of divorced men who deserve better than what they get in the west.

Rob

Many North American men working in Russia (or any of the ‘….stan’ locales) are married. The women know that but don’t care and they will do whatever is necessary to hook the men with their quiet and lovely nature and sexual favors. The men are so stupid, they think the woman who is usually 20 years younger than him, loves him…so…he divorces his wife, brings the new young loving bride to his country. His children are embarrased and he becomes distanced from them.

The man I was with married the lovely young single mother prostitute, had to adopt her children for immigration purposes. Now he’s 60 years old and paying child support for children he doesn’t see or like. I’m sooo glad to be rid of him. I’m with a real man now, a western man who appreciates a real person for a partner.

The way you describe her, ‘quiet and loving nature, dresses better, makes an effort to look good, are family-oriented, are pretty, good natured, have a better figure, are smart, with a good attitude, sees herself as complimenting him, not in competition’ makes her sound like a designer bought possession.

It makes you sound very insecure and she sounds abused. I saw a movie like that once, I believe it was called ‘Stepford Wives’.

Rob

Just got back from the Ukraine.. to learn understand the country, culture and people. And of course to meet some intellengent and attractive women. Being a foreigner in the Russian speaking world is like hanging a sign out to be taken advantage of by the “dating community”. But life is life.:)) You just have to learn the rules and play by those rules.

I learned some valuable lessons and your article pointed out a few thought concepts that need to be addressed by Western men… women are women, treat them as such. I heard stories of sweet young things taking advantage of men… when I was done laughing, I tried to figure out how some many men can be so stupid. No matter how “young people think you are” if there is a 30 year spread, that woman does not love you. ) The joke is the same in Russian or English… a young woman with an old man everyone thinks… drugs or money. )

Keep up the good work of pointing out stupidity. Guess my quest for a wife should have focused on cup size. ) But I have found the heart size far better a measurement. ) Last time I checked there are no implants for a loving heart. )

Ken

The biggest advice I have for anyone interested in such a marriage is don’t rush it! Those marriages that tend to work out are the ones where the man visits the FSU more than once (usually 3 times or more), they take longer than a year before proposing, and there are even (in some instances) visits from the woman to his country. The faster the process is rushed, the more likely it is to end in divorce. So take your time! Just like dating a woman at home, most men wouldn’t propose unless they really knew the woman well. And that does tend to take at least a year, sometimes more, of dating. Everyone’s timelines and confidence levels are different of course. These are just my observations from knowing a couple dozen such couples and seeing what has happened over the years and from reading other people’s stories. And you have any reservations, be open about them. An emotionally mature woman will be able to talk to you about those without getting defensive. She should be aware that these worries are legitimate and there are some bad people who have made things more difficult for the good people. And most of them are good!