Throughout my life, I have had to deal with all sorts of visas. I signed papers with a promise that I am not a journalist for a North Korean one ; I certified that I would not do anything newsworthy for a Chinese one (I am still not sure what they meant by it); I went through the fingerprint scanning process for the US one and filled out the 18 page long Hong Kong trainee visa application. One visa that I have never had to get is a Russian one. Lucky me.

When my boyfriend decided to brave the Russian winter, I thought getting a visa would be a bureaucratic, yet civilized procedure, just as everywhere else (yes, including North Korea!) . What naiveté. Applying
for his visa made me consider it a survivor test: only the strongest get to go to Russia.

There are two basic visa options for those who wish to visit Russia. It can be a home stay visa, for those who wish to stay with their Russian friends. There is also a regular tourist kind. Both of them require a
tourist to obtain an “invitation” and to submit it along with his/her application.

An invitation for a home stay visa is almost impossible to get. An inviting party has to have a local branch of the department of visas and registration approve their invitation. The wannabe hosts are asked to submit a prove of their income (for only the rich people should be hosting foreigners); I heard of police officers turning up at their houses to check what they looked like (so that a foreign guest would not be offended by less than luxurious living conditions). The entire procedure is said to take 45 days, but it can last for two or so months. The department’s offices are usually located only in larger cities, so if one’s hosts live in a village, they will have to endure a lot of travel.

Getting an invitation for a tourist visa is tricky in a different way. In theory, one is supposed to book a hotel online; then the hotel issues an invitation. But booking a Russian hotel online proves challenging even for a Russian-speaker: the transactions don’t always go through and the websites are difficult to navigate . Those who do not happen to have any Russian-speaking friends by their side have to resort to using several overpriced websites in bad English. If you master the process, however, there is yet another challenge: not all hotels are allowed to issue invitations. But no worries: if you wish to stay at a nice private hotel (which are oftentimes much better than the government-approved old-school ones), you can still obtain your
invitation from a Russian tourist agency that will issue it in the name of a government-friendly hotel. It is just that I haven’t found any which have any forms of online payment available.

I had my friend in Moscow obtain an invitation from a tourist agency, pay cash, and e-mail me the invitation. The embassies do not accept “copies of the invitations,” and an attached Microsoft Word document is considered more “original” than a faxed copy. And here comes another challenge: Once you have an invitation and a filled out application form, you have to pay the application processing fee.

There are only two ways to pay for obtaining one’s visa: money order or cashier’s check, so a trip to a local post office/bank rather than writing a personal check is required. Most countries’ embassies I have dealt with are perfectly happy to accept personal checks – or cash. I guess we Russians are just way too cool for that.

Got that money order? Go mail it off. Oh wait, no so fast…

The websites for the embassy in D.C. and the consulate in NYC provided us with contradicting address information. When we called the consulate, they did not seem to know enough English, so I had to talk to
them. I did not mind, but they kept telling me they did not know anything (because, you know, the consulate is there to host Russian-themed parties, not to advise those few foolish Americans seeking to

visit Russia). They told me to call a number in D.C. that I had never reached even though I had been trying for three days straight (it seemed that nobody bothered picking up).

It was only after my boyfriend got his visa that I made an important discovery. Like all other things Russian, there is a shortcut that is paved with money . If you pay a US-based tourist company $60 or so, they will issue the invitation right away. For additional $30, they will register you (another bothersome formality) in Moscow/St. Petersburg without ever asking where you are really staying. A Yale professor who often goes to Russia promised to hook me up with a really nice deal: a DC-based agency that is trustworthy, friendly and efficient. So if anybody needs the information, drop me a line.

One thing bothers me: I am not still not sure all these agencies are legal. They cheat the system and provide the immigration authorities with false information. Surprisingly, the government is perfectly aware of their activities and does not seem to mind. Neither do immigration officers. According to a Russian lawyer friend, these agencies are not legal – but they are not illegal, either, like so many things in a country with a flawed legal system. So if you are persistent enough to do extensive research and stubborn enough to obtain the
paperwork and have some money, welcome to Russia.

Just one thing: recently the Ukraine announced that the EU and US residents can visit it visa-free. The Ukraine has all that Russia has to offer – similar architecture, similar language, similar national cuisine – only more democracy and a warmer climate. The tickets to the Ukraine are priced at an amount similar to those to Russia. So really, if you want to spare yourself the bureaucratic trouble and enjoy Eastern Europe, go for Kiev, not Moscow.